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National Center for PTSD; STAIR Skills Training in Affective and Interpersonal Regulation

Session 5 – Understanding Relationship Patterns

Reviewing the Interpersonal Schemas Worksheet > Schema Summation

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After walking through the Interpersonal Schemas Worksheet I with her therapist, Sharon was able to identify an interpersonal schema for herself. Once the activity of providing and answering questions is completed, a summation statement is written for the identified interpersonal schema.

This is done in a When/Then format. For Sharon, her When/Then interpersonal schema summation statement is: When others need something from me Then I have to say yes because if I don’t something terrible will happen.

Image of completed bottom portion of the Interpersonal Schemas Worksheet I, with When/Then statement. There are six columns across the image, with no labels as this is a cutaway view of the worksheet from previous screens and those columns remain the same. They are, from left to right: Interpersonal Situation/What Happened, What Did I Feel and Believe About Myself?/My Feelings, What Did I Feel and Believe About Myself?/My Beliefs/Thoughts, What Were My Expectations About the Other Person?/Their Feelings, What Were My Expectations About the Other Person?/Their Beliefs/Thoughts, My Resulting Behavior/What Did I Do?. The text contained in each column, starting from the left and going to the right, is as follows: Column 1 Text: My boss called on Saturday and there was a crisis so I had to drop everything and work. My boyfriend got mad. Column 2 Text: Angry Frustrated Guilty Column 3 Text: I was a failure because I couldn't manage my time, plus have a relationship. Column 4 Text: Boss - Happy Boyfriend - Angry Column 5 Text: That I'm a pushover. That I don't care enough for my boyfriend. Column 6 Text: I worked nearly non-stop. Beneath the cutaway view of the worksheet is the following When/Then Text statement: Interpersonal Schema: When others need something from me Then I have to say yes because if I don't something terrible will happen.